Misfits fan fic part one
by mrsrobertsheehan
Summary: This is oddly set. I wanted them to still be doing community service, but I wanted everything in series two to have happened. So it's sort of set before the christmas episode, imagining that they still have community service to do.
1. Chapter 1

Misfits fan fic

It was eight thirty am on a Friday morning and Alisha Bailey really couldn't be arsed to get out of bed, to do her bullshit community service. She eventually dragged herself up, glancing in the mirror in horror and heading straight for the shower. As she rubbed the soap buds all over her skin, her thoughts wandered to Simon. Her thoughts were often with Simon these days. Just thinking about him brought a smile to her face and a blush to her cheeks. This whole love thing was so much weirder than she'd expected. She wasn't that girl. "That girl" with the perfect boyfriend, the boyfriend she loved so much it was like a constant ache in her chest. Of course, her and Simon's relationship was anything but conventional. They weren't exactly Romeo and Juliet. They couldn't actually touch, skin to skin, because of Alisha's "power". It was a long story. Because of the freaky storm and the powers it had given them, she had met and ended up with Simon. She had fallen in love with Simon, only it was the future Simon, but each and every day, Simon was growing into the Simon she'd fallen in love with. It was even more complicated than it sounded. The storm had given them all a power, only Alisha saw it as more of a curse. Her power meant that any man who touched her became instantly and intensely lustful towards her. It was much worse than it sounded and really fucking inconvenient. She wrapped a towel around her damp body and pattered back into her bedroom. As she pulled on her ugly, orange, community service jumpsuit, she tugged half-heartedly at the tag around her ankle. Just as she had expected, it didn't budge an inch. Sighing, she began the difficult task of taming her hair and applying her make-up. Just another day doing bullshit community service.

At the community centre, Nathan Young sat up, stretching and yawning loudly. With a glance around, he doubled checked the community centre was deserted, before getting to his feet and strolling down the hall. He wandered into the nearest bathroom, not caring that he was completely naked. He squinted at the space where the utensils on the walls normally stood. "What the fuck?" he mumbled. A toilet flushed behind him and he heard a door bang. "I could say the exact same thing" a voice behind me said lightly. He turned round slowly, blinking rapidly. A girl was stood, staring at him inquiringly. She had long, thick, red brown hair and two dimples when she smiled. "Well hello" Nathan smirked. "Hey. Can I just ask why you are in the women's toilets, naked?" she asked. "This is the women's? Well, that's embarrassing" he laughed. "Yeah, just a tad. Well, I'll see you around" she said quietly. "You will?" he asked, before realising she was gone. Just like that.

Kelly Bailey was sat on the steps outside the community centre, smoking a fag and staring into space. She was actually wondering-or rather dreading- what came next. Life had thrown a lot of shit at her recently; she was surprised she hadn't gone mental through stress or whatever it was. She'd discovered she could read minds, convinced herself she loved a guy after he died, then realised she didn't actually love him when he came back to life. Oh and she'd also shagged a monkey. All in a few weeks worth. Now she felt a bit out of it. Simon and Alisha had their whole, can't-touch-each other, freaky future shit going on. Curtis and Nikki had their whole thing going on. It seemed it was just her and Nathan left-and no fucking way was she going _there _again. Speak of the devil, here he came. Strutting over, in that arrogant way of his, curls blowing in the wind, eyes that bright green colour, that showed he was excited about something. Kelly had to admit, he had a certain charm. He could draw you to him, he was a handsome fucker. Just, more like a brother. "All right?" she called, nodding at him. "Kelly, my telepathic little chav" he said fondly, sitting down beside her. Kelly reached out and thumped him on the arm. "Ouch! What was that for?" he grumbled. "I aint no chav. Okay?" she snapped at him. He held his hands up as he spoke, "Okay, okay. Keep your vagina on. Listen Kel, I just met this _girl-"_". Kelly sighed heavily and interrupted him. "Okay. Where did you meet her? And you weren't perving on her in the changing rooms this time, were you?" she asked seriously. "I went into the girls toilets by mistake. Okay and I was naked. Minor setback. But she was on it! She had that whole, I-want-you-to-shag-me vibe going on, it was written all over her face!" Nathan said defensively. "You've probably scared the poor girl off! Imagine coming out of the piss, to find some guy stood there fucking naked. Would scare the shit out of you. That look on her face was probably a, I'm-gonna-shit-myself look" Kelly cried out. She realised, with a twinge of irritation that Nathan wasn't even listening to her. "Check it out. New meat" he said quietly, chuckling. Kelly followed his line of vision. A thin, pale, mousy woman was struggling to get out of an old banger, her arms full of files. She had a messy bob of mousy brown hair, granny glasses and a twitching little nose like a mouse. She swung one leg out of the car, before stumbling and falling head long, her files falling in a tornado to the floor. Nathan began laughing, like his usual dickhead self. Kelly gave him another slap, jerking him to his feet and snapping, "C'mon you _dick. _Let's go an' 'elp her". They hurried over to the woman, who was sat on the floor, looking dazed, her pale face flushed. Kelly bent and scooped up half the files and Nathan sighed heavily, before picking up the rest. With a glower from Kelly, he extended a hand to the woman. She took it and he hauled her up, non-too gently. "Thank you. I'm so clumsy" the woman mumbled. Kelly noticed that she even spoke like a mouse, sort of high pitched and squeaky. "No problem love" she said, shrugging. The woman stared at Kelly for a moment, and then she turned to stare at Nathan. Her eyes seemed to be drawn to the orange, community pay back jumpsuits. Her giant, magnified eyes, widened even further behind her specs. "You...you're doing the community service?" she stammered. "Er, yeah. We are innit" Kelly said, frowning slightly. _Oh god, listen to the way that girl speaks. And just look at that young man! These children are rough, just like you suspected. Go easy Doreen, make sure you don't antagonize them. Keep a firm grip on your handbag, that young lad looks like a thief to me. _Kelly positively glowered at the woman now. "S'all right. We aint planning on nicking ya purse you divvy cow" she snapped. Nathans jaw dropped in disbelief. "Hang on. Are you our new probation worker?" he asked. The woman hesitated for a moment before replying timidly, "Yes, I am. My name's Doreen. I have a lot of plans for you five". "Well I wish you luck, Doris. You're gonna need it" he sniggered. "It's Doreen" she mumbled. "Doris, Doreen, Dildo. What's the difference? Nice meeting you" he grinned, baring his teeth at her, before turning and striding off. Kelly followed him, staring back at the new probation worker. There was something not quite right there...

"Hey you". Simon Bellamy jumped slightly, startled by the closeness of Alisha. He could feel her breath tickling the back of his neck. She never usually got this close, she was almost touching him. "Oh. Alisha. Hello" he stammered, the usual nerves he felt around her coming to the fore. "Don't sound too pleased to see me" she said sulkily, folding her arms across her chest and flopping down beside him, leaving a large gap between them. "Of course I'm pleased to see you. I just didn't expect you to be that...close" Simon said quietly. Alisha sighed deeply. "Simon. This isn't really any different to my relationship with Curtis. I do love you, but I want to be able to touch you. I want you to show me that you love me back" she said huffily. "But you know that I do. Your power isn't very convenient sure, but it's not all about sex Alisha" Simon said gently. "Yeah, but sex plays an important part in any relationship" Alisha argued. "We'll just have to wait. The time will come. These powers won't last forever. Just be patient" Simon smiled. "I can't. I don't do patient" she mumbled. "Well you're going to have to try" he said softly, hesitantly tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, careful not to touch her skin. Alisha couldn't help but smile up at him. "Wait 'til you meet this new probation worker. I'm telling you, the woman is a total push over. It's like when you have a supply teacher at school and you send them running from the room, screaming!" Alisha scowled heavily; trust Nathan to ruin the moment. "Well. Let's try not to kill this one" she said sarkily. "Hey, don't make any promises" Nathan smirked. "Here comes Curtis! Great the gangs all together" he added, throwing an arm around Kelly and Simon. "Gerroff me, you twat" Kelly grumbled, throwing his arm off. "All right?" Curtis said as he approached them. "New probation worker man! Fresh meant, just waiting to be shown whose boss" Nathan smirked, rubbing his hands together with glee. "So, by that you mean we have to kill her? Because that seems to be how we've shown all the others whose boss" Curtis said, sighing. "Well, let's think about this. The first one was a complete nutjob, total care of the community. The second one Barry killed-I'm sure he had his reasons-" Nathan shot Simon a look. "He killed her to save all of us from going to prison for killing for the first one!" Alisha snapped. "Okay, calm down! Then there was the last one, we didn't kill him. Although he was such a dildo, he would have deserved it" Nathan shrugged. "Let's just shut up about this. You don't know who might be listening. Come on, let's just get the fuck in there" Alisha sighed, pulling open the community centre door and swanning inside. As they passed the probation office, they spotted the new probation worker, sat at her new desk. She had her head in her arms, her shoulders shaking. "Even the supply teachers last longer than that" Nathan said scathingly. "What's wrong with her?" Alisha hissed. "She is proper judgmental like. Should've hear what she was thinking 'bout us. She thinks we're scum, like we're gonna mug her at any moment" Kelly scowled. "Can I just point out, she hasn't met me, Alisha or Simon. You two must have given her a bad impression" Curtis shrugged. "She's coming. Quick, act normal" Nathan muttered, scurrying over to the vending machine. The women plodded out, her eyes rimmed with red behind her glasses. "Oh. You're... yes. Right. I'm D-Doreen and I'm your new probation worker" she stuttered. "Well D-Doreen, welcome to the community centre of fun!" Nathan announced, throwing his arms out wide and grinning menacingly at her. There was a slightly awkward silence. "Right. Well, could you please, if it's not too much trouble, possibly start working now? I'm told you're halfway through cleaning up the graffiti outside?" Doreen said timidly. "It would be our pleasure Doris" Nathan said, too loudly.

"Fuck this" Kelly snapped, throwing her sponge into the bucket so fiercely that she spattered water everywhere. "If we have to slave away all day, scrubbing at some drawings on a wall that will be back by tomorrow, so should you" Alisha glowered. "Not being funny or nothing Alisha, yeah, but get outta my face before I slap you one" Kelly said, squaring up to Alisha. Nathan slid between them, chuckling, "Now, now ladies. Break it up. We gotta work together, it's all about teamwork!" They both shot him despairing looks, but backed away from each other. "Hello, hello, hello. Kelly, here's the girl I told you about!" Nathan hissed, fluffing up his hair, straightening his collar and standing up taller. Kelly watched as the tall, slim girl approached them. She was also wearing the orange jumpsuits they were forced to wear. She must be doing community service too. "Hey. That probation worker lady told me to come out here and start working with you lot" she shrugged. "We meet again" Nathan grinned. "Yeah, and you actually have clothes on this time!" the girl said sarcastically. "Are you disappointed? I'm Nathan" Nathan said cockily, shoving his hand at her to shake. She didn't take it, just looked at him, amusement in her eyes. "I'm Lyla" she announced to all of them.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two

"So, what do you lot do for fun all day? Other than scrubbing away at graffiti that is" Lyla said, arching an eyebrow at them.

Nathan threw his scalpel into the bucket, knocking soapy water everywhere.

"Oh, we're a fun bunch, us! Especially me, I'm-"

"A prick?" Curtis quipped, causing Kelly to snigger.

"See that's the sort of negativity we don't need, man. I'm hurt. Seriously" Nathan pouted.

"What did you all do? To get community service?" Lyla said quickly.

Curtis grunted, turning his back to scrub at the graffiti pointedly.

Alisha and Simon was huddled together, oblivious to the conversation around them.

"I 'ad a fight with some skank in Argos. But we're all right now" Kelly shrugged.

"And I got done for eating some pick 'n' mix" Nathan smirked.

"Interesting. What about those three?" she asked.

"Alisha got done for drink driving. Curtis drugs. Barry tried to burn someone's house down" Nathan said nonchalantly.

Lyla's eyes flashed at that.

"_Really_? He doesn't look the type!".

"It's always the quiet one's" Nathan said darkly.

"What did you do?" Kelly demanded.

Lyla hesitated for a moment, the pause in the conversation dragging on.

"I…got caught shoplifting" she said weakly.

"We all got caught. That's why we're here" Nathan chuckled.

Lyla smiled at him, deliberately holding his gaze.

"Hey…do you wanna go for a drink? Tonight?" he said quietly.

"Yeah. Why not" she smirked.

Kelly rolled her eyes expressively.

"You know, there's something weird about that new girl" Alisha commented, grabbing her drink from the vending machine.

"I thought she seemed quite…normal. For Nathan" Simon frowned.

"I dunno…I just have a funny feeling about her" Alisha sighed.

"Do you think she has a power?" Simon said eagerly.

"Who doesn't have an effing power around here these days? That storm just fucked everything up for everyone" Alisha huffed.

"If it wasn't for the storm, we might not be together" Simon pointed out.

"Well, that's one good thing that came out of it" Alisha smiled.

"Good thing? You're the best thing that's ever happened to me" he responded quietly.

"I love you" Alisha sighed happily, blowing him a kiss.

He mimed catching it.

"I love you too" he said softly.

The next morning, Kelly bounced into the community centre, in a surprisingly chirpy mood.

She yanked open her locker door, quickly checking her hair in the mirror as she did so.

Nathan entered the room, his hair askew, his eyes red and his skin pale and waxy.

"Someone's a bit 'ungover" Kelly said smugly.

He merely groaned, smacking his head against the locker door.

"Did you have a good night?" she enquired.

"Of course I had a good night. I got ridiculously drunk and I shagged a pretty girl. Win-win situation" he said thickly.

"Cor that was quick, 'wunnit? So, where is she now?" Kelly frowned.

"I don't know! She's all right and everything but she talks too much. It was like twenty one questions, I went to bed with her to shut up her" Nathan mumbled.

"It's not love then?" Kelly teased.

"There's no such thing as love. Not for me. Only the physical kind" he leered.

Kelly shook her head, sighing at him despairingly.

"What sort of questions did she ask?" she said.

"She was very interested in our community service and the probation workers".

Kelly froze-that sounded suspect.

"You didn't tell her that we killed them, did you?" she said quickly.

Nathan was very still.

"_Did you?"_ she growled.

"I was very drunk…I can't remember _everything _I said" he protested.

Kelly's fist swung out to punch him, but she suddenly caught someone's thoughts, someone outside the door.

_Oh my goodness. Oh good heavens. Murderers! The police, you must call the police immediately._

She rushed round the corner, slamming into the new probation worker.

"What are you doing?" she snapped.

The woman gave a squeak , shrinking against the wall.

"You've killed people! Your probation workers. I heard you!" she spluttered.

At that moment, Simon, Alisha, Curtis and Lyla rounded the corner.

Alisha's green eyes swept the scene before her with confusion-Kelly threateningly backing the probation worker against the wall.

"What the fuck is going on?" she demanded.

"She knows we killed the probation workers! She's gonna rat us out to the fooking police!" Kelly cried.

"You can't do that! We'll get put in prison!" Alisha shrieked.

"And with a face like mine, I'll lose my anal virginity within seconds" Nathan added.

"You're…thugs! Violent thugs! Of course I'm going to call the police! You _killed _someone!" the probation worker squealed.

"Three people actually" Nathan smirked.

"You need to be brought to justice! You're wild, feral, common little-"

SMACK!

They all spun around in shock, as the metal bar smacked her hard across the head.

Alisha was stood, the bar clutched in her hands, slightly shaky but a small smile on her face.

"Well somebody had to do it! And none of you pussies were going to" she said defensively.

The probation worker lay on the floor, a puddle of dark red blood pooling around her head.

She was stiffening already, quite unmistakeably dead.

They were all silent, staring down at her in morbid fascination.

"I'll go get the shovels and the car" Nathan said with a sigh, bobbing out of the room.

"You've done this before? Three times?".

They all jumped, as if only just noticing Lyla's presence in the room.

"What's it to you?" Alisha said aggressively.

"I'm just curious" Lyla replied lightly.

Kelly narrowed her eyes at her suspiciously.

_That's it, get as mouthy as you like, you common little tart. I'm about to bring all of you down so fast you won't know what's hit you. I'm gonna be a millionaire because of you simpletons. This story is gonna go down in history-and I'm the one that's unearthed it. _

Kelly let out a strangled, ugly yelp.

"You fooking little tramp! You was just using Nathan, trying to get the dirt on us! She's a fooking reporter! She's gonna rat us out!" she screamed.

Before any of them could move a muscle, Lyla had turned and slipped from the room, a smirk all over her face.


End file.
